This is so well put. Thanks.

Your point: How about instead every partner gets judged on their strengths... If only.

Something crossed my mind. Women do seem to want it all, but a simplistic thought arises. What if a guy isn't good in bed (it could be any feature a woman wants, but sex is a good example.) Is she going to be willing to teach hum the skill? Men want to please in many ways. Will women help them know what they can do to please? ... I don't think so, but that's from limited data.