This is a great article, but it also shows some of the problems I have never been able to overcome. You see, I am big. Even back when I lost enough weight that a friend said it made me look sickly, I'm big. (1) It's almost impossible to dress a cut above or even fashionably and would be very expensive if I tried. I'm not just big. (2) I exude physical power. I don't move like other people. You learn early not to manspread cuz I can fill way too much. You learn to constantly restrict your power and not to move too fast. You do not do power poses, and good posture can freak people out when you are this big. Yes, walking may be an art, but don't do it often. .. it makes you look too tall. Oh yeah, I'm proportioned so that I don't look that big... until you get close. I also attract fighting drunks if I am silly enough to go into a bar. Luckily, if they see me smile it will actually scare a drunk. (3) Love... well, I've been lonely and cold, so I always try to warm others. I hope I have helped reduce the mass of loneliness that is so often the lot of humanity. Authenticity... let's not go there. People fear the unknown and they don't like what they dear. Oh yeah, my emotions are electric. When I meet someone who seems like they might be like me, I may ask them "do you ever apologize for overwhelming people". It's funny when their eyes get real big because no one seems to understand that. (4) Why are people so so negative? Why is a smile so rare? Why is humor so rare? A person will telegraph what they need. You can give usually give it to them at no cost... though you have to learn about emotional black holes and you have to accept that you might understand a person's problems but it doesn't mean you can help them. (5) Vulnerability - OK, I'm vulnerable but it doesn't seem like people believe it. I understand it. It's easy to understand physically, but I also attract trouble. I can defuse most anything but it was after a long learning process from relentless attacks. (I think some people are instinctively compelled to dominate me. Good luck with that.) I now appear invulnerable, but it's mostly just scars.
If I have learned anything, it is because I listened and learned from others. I respected them. If I help others, it is because I am blessed with ability and have learned many skills. If I comfort others, it is because I have been pained. If I understand, it is because I would want to be understood. I know about my power and restrict it rigidly. A few people respect me greatly, but most just think I'm strange to them.
