The responses are fascinating…

I would both agree and disagree with this article. I agree that men want a safe harbor. This has been discussed before in terms of men existing in a horrific Darwinian driven world of mindless and endless competition with other males. The book “Self Made Man” by Norah Vincent discusses this. Home or a woman is supposed to represent a safe harbor of calm, free of that mindless competition.

I would disagree a bit in that my research on human survival suggests that it is very important that what a man wants from women is love. That may sound quite simple, but it might not be. Why are men monogamous? Exploring SocioBiology, human males, being mammals would be expected to be polygynous… which they might be to some extent but not primarily. Most are quite happy to pair up and be in the reproductive unit of the family. The reason for this is the long, demanding human childhood means that two parents are required to successfully raise a family. So how does that work? Monogamy is not particularly novel for females, though they eventually drive off the male as they do have the same ecological requirements and so are competition. It is the males that adapt the most. What keeps them with the female? It is love, a desire to be wanted. A woman gives love. Being humans, we tend to do it both ways and in every variation. Both most men and most women want and give love, but almost all men want love and almost all women can give love. It’s a subtle thing and emotions are maddening to understand, but it works and so it is our programming. Shelly Winters spoke of how Marilyn Monroe could turn it on and off. Mata Hari was not supposed to be so beautiful, but she could bewitch men. It is a form of manipulation like beauty, what men are programmed to respond to. It’s also counterintuitive — the male wants to be wanted. It is probably the source of some stories of witchcraft. Unfortunately, most women don’t know about this and many just don’t give love to men or “their man”. For some, it is automatic, but for most, it is a choice and perhaps even a learned skill. Some women even know and simply refuse to give their men love. That is unfortunate and way too common these days when a promiscuous environment makes women less dependant on “their man”. Some women give love to “their man” until they have children and then refuse to anymore. This is likely related to an older instinctual nature. The thing is this is very bad. Women do better in a civilization. Men without love tend to fight which is dangerous to civilization. Men will do anything for love, including work to make a family thrive and even to build a civilization. Women would be smart to give love, lots of it. The return is fantastic and of great benefit to them and their children.