<sigh> I read stuff like this for understanding. It starts with saying to learn from other people's opinions of you. Sounds great, but there's a problem with that. No one is going to give an opinion. I guess I usually get props, but really, the problem is that most people can't come close to understanding me enough to have an opinion. Heck, they don't even think I'm just weird anymore. The first impression you are going to get when seeing me is my physicality. It's not just how big I am, it's that because of my past, you can see how tough I look. Not muscle bound, tough. Then you see my smile and have to wonder. Then if I open my mouth, you quickly realize my size isn't the most unusual thing about me. Physically I am big, developed and hard. Mentally, I'm worse and while long ago, I used to try to hide that, I learned that it can't be hidden. If I shut up, the emotional energy leaks out. I exhaust people.

You say "Feed your self-esteem". Nah, not a good idea. Humility is far wiser for me, even if not completely realistic. What I have seen is that ego and arrogance can be more dangerous than low self esteem. I want to change the world and very well may. It's safer to remain humble and insecure.