No, the French are not exempt from jealousy, but... consider that during the cold war, the Russians gave up trying to use sexual honey pots to blackmail people there, because it didn't work. I'm sure there's jealousy, but they deal with it maturely and I'm not sure that was about jealousy anyway. The narrative in America is just that cheating is unforgivable. Actually, it needs to be thought about, like all important matters.
I'm a big guy and I smile a lot. It attracts trouble. People have tried to piss me off quite intentionally because of my size. It's simple, if I give in, someone will go to the hospital, so I simply don't get mad. It's called self control, maturity and responsibility. It's especially important for parents, because others critically depend on them
He didn't have one foot out the door. He didn't even really remember the girl and it was 14 years ago. It was definitely over and there was no threat to her from it. It's a bit late to worry about sinking resources. In a biologists view, she has his children. At that point "she has made the majority of the investment".
From a biologist's point of view, what he remembered, that she was young, talks about the natural seductiveness of a young lady. He fell for it. I bless my stars that no one has overcome my self control, and they have tried. My self control under provocation though, has been hard won. I have been complimented on it. We are all human. We are all flawed. We need to treat others as human and at least think about forgiveness before just reacting.
There is no indication in the essay that he wasn't interested in his wife sexually and a lot more guys have to deal with loss of sex interest in their spouse than women do. They are definitely not expected to automatically leave because of it, though it is considered a legitimate reason if it is that important to him.
She wanted the divorce. She didn't talk about it. She didn't consider the strategy of forgiveness. She didn't "process it". She did it and took off with the children. There is no middle ground in that. No deliberation. She heard about a seduction 14 years ago and tossed everything. Why? Please explain that to me. Uncontrollable jealousy? That sounds immature. Society told her that is what she had to do if he cheated? That's just dumb. How was she harmed? Was she embarrassed so badly?
There's no golden rule about it. He may have been ok having sex with another guy if it was what she wanted. That's no part of the essay. It's a bias you threw in there. What you may not understand is that it's not all about sex. Sex comes and goes, moved along by hormones that come and go. What a guy wants even more than sex is love.
He suffered far more harm than she did. It's that simple and it hurt her too as well as hurting her children. It was not necessary and if it turned out to be, it needed to be confirmed. Nothing in the essay suggests it was needed. Objectively, it looked like a dumb action with no indication of though, just reaction.
